just what The Docta ordered...

The Amazing Race – The Race Begins

2005-08-07T21:45:00.000+10:00

What I did this weekend can basically be summed up as a combination of three things: The Amazing Race. Drunk. In costume.

Oh my God. Where to begin!? It was insane! Okay, so our team was made up of Jill, Christina, Clarissa, my girlfriend Evana and me.

We got up on Saturday morning at 6:30 for a 7:30am start. By the time I packed my bag and put on my costume, I barely had time for breakfast. I had one small bowl of cereal before I cracked open my first (of many) beers. Didn’t want to be drinking all day on an empty stomach :P.

We had decided earlier that week that our group theme was going to be American Indians. The girls had bought some brown material from Lincraft, as well as 3 packets of turkey feathers (Red, White and Yellow) and some black elastic. From this the girls made their Indian dresses, as well as head dresses and arm bands for everyone.
I was hoping Mum would be able to make my costume and post it down, but I left it too late to ask her. Luckily Jill brought 2 sets of Indian pants (with authentic fringed edges) and an Indian vest that belonged to her 8-year-old cousin. The pants were so small they barely went past my knee, so I put some long cream pants on underneath and it looked a bit better. The vest was also way too small, so I put one of my cream shirts on inside out (to hide the design on the front of it) underneath, even after much pleading from Jill to just wear the vest by itself.
That morning I then had the brilliant idea of cutting the second pair of Indian pants in half to make sleeves. They looked great so I went to where the girls were to show them, hoping they’d be equally impressed.

Me: “I hope your cousin won’t mind that I cut up the Indian pants.” (grinning at my joke, thinking her cousin didn’t actually want these pants anymore)
Jill: “Are you serious?”
Me: “Are YOU serious!?”
Jill: “Seriously, Are you serious!”
Me: “I’m serious! I thought you were joking!”
Jill: “I’m serious too! I thought YOU were joking!”
Me: “How can I be joking!? The sleeves are ON my arm!”

Clarissa was laughing her ass off by this stage. It turns out Jill was serious. Oops! But it was a hilarious conversation and we were quoting it all day.

We also got 3 sets of bows and arrows, a hobby horse we named Rydeswell, and warrior face paint.
Our Indian names were:
Jill – Rattlesnake Handler (I think this had something to do with Jill having sex on the mind 24/7, and the snake being a phallus)
Clarissa – Moonlight Rider (she was always on the hobby horse)
Me – Big Brown Bear (It's from a Scrubs episode. I liked it.)
Evana – Curly Ox Tail (her curly hair)
Christina – Injured Foal (she twisted her ankle a few days ago)
The team car was called Running Engine.

Our costumes looked awesome, but the other groups’ costumes were equally impressive. There were The Wiggles, Nuns, KISS, Manchester United Fans, Scuba Divers, Ninjas, Beer Police, Firewomen, Santa and His Helpers, Trannies, Glitter Girls and Clowns (Judges and Reps). I’ll try and get photos soon!

After admiring everyone’s costume efforts and taking photos in the college car park (us in various warrior poses) we got the debriefing for the day.

The whole thing is based off the reality TV show “The Amazing Race”. In previous years the event was called “Car Rally”, but it got such a bad rep last year that it got banned (mainly because they stole vacuum cleaners and other shit from the Nathan college of Griffith University.) So MGRC just changed the name of it.
We had no idea about the final destination, but we were given clues to figure out where our next checkpoint would be, and had to complete various tasks and get answers to questions along the way. At each checkpoint there was also the chance to score bonus points for the activities there.

After the debriefing, we all got into our team car (Evana’s Holden Apollo, Evana driving), and cranked the music. The funniest was the Nuns, who played "Oh Happy Days" from Sister Act 2 for their first song.

We then got in line with the other cars, where we recieved the envelope with our first set of clues inside...

The best weekend. EVER.

2005-08-07T15:22:00.000+10:00

My arms are sticky. I smell like stale beer. My face is sunburnt. I can still taste traces of vomit in my mouth. My knee is sore. I have bruises all over my body. My gut is still a bit queezy. I am unbelievably exhausted.

I had the best weekend. EVER. But first: shower.

Film teachers are fucking weird

2005-08-02T23:27:00.000+10:00

So I’m into the second semester of my Bachelor of Film and Screen Media. Doing an arts degree, it was an accepted fact that a few of my lecturers would be a bit odd, but nothing prepared me for what I encountered in Film Production.

My Film Production teacher is weird. He is obsessed with film. Not films as in movies, but film as in the stuff that comes in a canister.

To start the lesson off, he gave us all a strip of film about 20 frames long each, and then he proceeded to vent his sexual frustrations on the piece of film he held in his hand...

“Smell it! I love that smell. It’s better than cocaine this shit. This stuff’s a bit old; fresh out of the canister is the best.”

“Run your finger along the perforations. Perfectly manufactured. Isn’t it amazing?”

“Now press it against your top lip! Feel the sticky side… That’s how you tell you’ve got it the right way. See how it sticks to my lip. See that?”

“Then lay it down softly on the darkroom table and make sweet, sweet love to it.”

Okay, he didn’t say that last one, but by that stage I would’ve just accepted it. It’s going to be an interesting semester.

Exclusive story + pictures 4 TEH WIN!

2005-07-29T14:12:00.000+10:00

So for those of you who haven’t been following my MSN name for the past three days, I posted an article on Sandstorming.com about the Family Guy movie being leaked 2 months early.

I posted it on July 25th, 2005 at 9:24 pm. As of right now:

It holds the record for the most comments on a Sandstorming article (41 comments).
The page itself has been viewed a massive 22065 times, making it our most popular Sandstorming article to date.
It is the #2 (previously #1) Google search result for both stewie griffin the untold story leaked and family guy movie leaked.
It is our first article submitted and accepted by digg.com. It has received 1089 diggs, making it their top story for the week, and their 6th most popular story for the month.
It has also received 65 comments on its separate digg page. Feel free to give it a digg yourself, and push it up that ladder!
And our story ALMOST made it on G4TV! ("Family Guy Movie needs a Diaper")
(wtf is G4TV???)

Much of the credit should go to Johnsee, who when he saw my MSN name “Downloading Family Guy movie 2 months before official release date!” did a quick search and discovered that there was barely ANY news on it at all, and no one with screenshots. It was decided then and there that Sandstorming would be the first.
I quickly rushed a story, and Johnsee attached a few screenshots to go with it. We then posted it on a number of forums, but most importantly, digg.com. The rest, as they say, is history.

Because of the intense popularity of our article we had to cover our asses a bit regarding the legality of it, so a few edits were made to the final story, including a disclaimer that “Sandstorming does not condone piracy of any form.”

All I can say is: "wow." That is a lot of people that have read my words. Like 10 times the population of Gayndah. I still can’t believe we beat everyone else to it.

Harry Potter sheets

2005-07-10T21:25:00.000+10:00

I was talking to my good mate Julz on MSN just before. He's going to be boarding at the same college as I am at next semester, so he's been asking me all these questions about college and what to bring and stuff.
Now, Julz is almost 18, has his own car, goes to university, is about to be living away from home, and yet... well.. read on...

Julz: DUDE
Julz: HARRY POTTER 6 IN LIKE 5 DAYS
Julz: btw - im not gonna get stabbed for bringing my harry potter sheets am i?
Doc: hahahaha as in bed sheets?
Julz: yer
Julz: my doona
Doc: ROFL
Julz: and pillow covers
Julz: are harry potter
Doc: u can't be serious
Julz: :|
Julz: dude
Doc: ahahahaAHAHHAHAA
Julz: tehy're teh UBER comfg
Julz: comfy*
Doc: fuck thats hilarious
Julz: ......SHADDAP
Julz: they're heaps good but
Julz: its just the hogwarts school chrest
Julz: you wounld'nt know it until u actually stared at it
Doc: hahahahaahahahHAHA
Julz: SHADDAP

OK, I'll admit, I'm pretty excited about the 6th Harry Potter book coming out, but bedsheets?? Now that's commitment. GW Julz.

Staying Strong, Staying Long

2005-07-06T00:10:00.000+10:00

OK, it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged, but it’s been even longer since I had a haircut.

I think I vaguely recall getting my last haircut in September last year. Not sure of the exact date, but it would’ve been around the week before final term started. The last time I’d ever have to have my hair above the collar, not touching my ears, and sideburns that stopped at half-ear.

It definitely seems to be a tradition with ex-Churchie boys to grow their hair out. I guess it’s our way of finally breaking free of the fascist regime that ruled over our lives for five (or more) years, and more indirectly a way of saying, “FUCK YOU WILMANN!” to our beloved old school marshal.

But everyone else I know has bailed on this whole hippy-inspired expression of freedom. The only exception to this is Eugene, but he smokes pot, so that’s a given. Everyone else have gone and got hair cut with poor excuses such as: “My dad said he’d fire me if I didn’t get it cut!” or, “I did it for my mum for Mother’s Day!” Lame.

I can now put the tip of my fringe in my mouth, and my ears are almost covered over. Fuck yeah.

Not really. It’s starting to piss me off. I’m now seriously contemplating getting it cut. But before I go out and make such a rash decision, I have decided to list the pros and cons for this situation:

PROS
- My girlfriend likes the long-haired, Tom-Cruise-Mission-Impossible-2 look.
- I’ve never had it this long before, and probably never will again.
- I sort-of look good in it.
- It annoys mum and dad.
- I’m setting a personal record for the longest time I’ve ever gone without getting a haircut.
- I’d be a hypocrite if I got it cut.

CONS
- Was never really aspiring to be able to eat my own hair while still attached to my head.
- It’ll be harder to get a job with it.
- It’s a pain to look after.
- It can look really foul sometimes.
- It gets in my eyes when I’m driving sometimes.
- It got caught in the car window when I was doing it up once.

Decisions, decisions... Either way, I’ll at least get it trimmed. Just how much trimmed is the question...

Coming soon to a browser near you...

2005-06-27T19:30:00.000+10:00

Greets to EXTREMELY loyal readers of this blog. Though I'm pretty sure even they've stopped reading, especially since I haven't posted for over six months.

But I'm back now, bigger and better than ever. (It's amazing what puberty does for you.) A lot has happened in the six months since I stopped posting, but I really can't be fucked writing about it, so I'm starting afresh.

Anyways, I'm now a poster on 3 seperate blogs:

1. Sandstorming.com - Random news from the Internet and beyond.
2. The Goat Yak - News and events happening at the number one college campus in Brisbane: Mount Gravatt.
3. And this one (duh). Little slices of my life. My thoughts and opinions on whatever the hell I want.

Should be interesting to see how long I can keep this up.

If you're wondering what incited this sudden urge to start blogging again, it's because a) I'm now on a 4 week holiday from Uni; b) I'm bored; and c) this article How to Blog, and in particular, this point:

29. dont apologize about not blogging. nobody cares. just start blogging again.

Quotable Quotes from the last week of school

2004-12-24T13:28:00.000+10:00

So here it is, as promised. The best quotes from the week, or how we kept ourselves entertained with our wit:

Sending two PoliceWOMEN to come talk to us probably wasn’t the best idea. The microphone was a bit too low for one of them, so she said, “Let me just fix this mike up so I don’t have to bend over as much.”
She looked up at us, realising what she just said to 200+ teenage males.
“Did I just say that?” She said rhetorically as we started sniggering.
“I hope so!” someone shouts from the back of the hall.

Gerry asked the Health Education speaker if you can reuse a condom.

Cus asked the police, “Can I get into trouble if I run a beer bong from one apartment down to another?”

“Will there be sniffer dogs down there?” someone asked the police.
“Yep,” they replied.
“Shit.”

“Is there a fear of terrorism at schoolies this year?”
Probably a valid point, but it was funny at the time.

Brydon asked “Can you be charged for public nudity?” A question Lewie found out the answer to when he mooned out the back of Parry’s jeep at Schoolies.

“What happens if you have sex in the sea?” someone asked the cops. The cops didn’t have an answer, but someone else shouted out, “You get crabs!”

Mr Colins stating the obvious when he said, “Now, you’re probably going to have a few drinks down at schoolies.”

Filling out this stupid “personal power and motivation” workbook called The Tools of Life. I started by writing down all the tools I could think of, starting with the dickhead who wrote this book.

We had to write down some success quotes, so I wrote “Success is my only motherfucking option, failure’s not.” – Eminem.

How can I build personal power?
I Must... Not kick/ban tards/lam3rs.

A definition of communication is:
net send * (message)
Using ur “F” keys effectively whilst in a game of Battlefield.

A section called “Artists vs Technicians” was changed to “Ninjas vs Pirates”; a must more interesting debate.

By the 6th page, Julz had started drawing vague phallus shapes on my book.

You start to lift your ATTIDUE[sic] and SELF IMAGE when…
I circled the spelling mistake, and put “when you can spell properly.”

More penis-like images on page 8, which I had proceeded to artistically transform into dolphins and cannons.

So you can...
   Go where you want to go... Inferno
   Do what you want to do... ya mum
   Be what you want to be... the 1337357
   Have what you want to have! Sex.

There are three types of people in the world:
Those that: play RPG
Those that: play FPS
Those that: play RTS

GOALS give you:
flatulence
Headaches
Bad ping
AIDS
Lag

A GOAL is..
Defuse the bomb
Rescue the hostages
Capture the flag

It's not where you ~~START~~ RESPAWN
It's where you ~~FINISH~~ PLANT THE BOMB.

We filled in a RACQ Free-2-Go form for Chris Barber, that illusive student who very nearly became our school captain. (If you don’t get this, ask any Churchie 2004 Senior about it).

Guest speakers were always a laugh, especially the rugby player. Taking things they say out of context: “Yeah I’ve played against Rubin Wicky. He’s a very, very, hard man.”
Also, I couldn’t tell if he was being serious when he said, “I’m not standing up here thinking I’m better than you guys ‘cause I’ve played 250 games for the Broncos.”
Just quoting that number seemed like a thinly veiled attempt at bragging. But, all the jocks were happy. By the end, the formula for every question they asked was “What do you think about (insert player name here)?”. I wanted to ask “What do you think about Johhnie Howard/George Bush/The War in Iraq?” But Weldon overheard me mentioning this to Johnsee, and told us not to. He probably thought it would be disrespectful to ask a question that made him look stupid.

The lady that came in to talk to us about donating organs told us, “Donating organs is a lot different to any other cause you donate to. There’s no door-to-door organ donations for one thing.” Just built a funny mental image of organ doorknocking.

Mr Caskey told us there was 3 ways we could get away without paying our HECS fees after uni:
“1. Never earn more than $30 000.
2. Go overseas and never return.
3. Die.”
He says he wouldn’t recommend the third one. Personally, all 3 seem pretty unattractive.

And always the classic: applauding everyone for speaking. Mr Colins said, “You don’t have to clap me.”
So of course, this was followed by more applause. We’re such a clap-happy grade. (*thinks back to fond memories of clapping Mrs Dean offstage at assembly*)

My last week at school. EVER.

2004-12-20T19:25:00.000+10:00

My last week at school was pretty much comprised of lectures, guest speakers, plus more lectures. Basically, the school's poor attempt to keep us entertained and in the one spot; as opposed to us wreaking havoc around the school. It was boring-as-shit, and my ass feel asleep at least once during every talk. Some people livened it up with stupid questions and smartass comments :D. I will put up a selection of these later. This post is long enough as it is.

Speech night. Was shite. Haha, that rhymes. As a boarder it was compulsory for us to go, as always. *sigh*. But, respect for Headmaster Hensmann when he decided to cut the night in half this year. It felt so short, especially with all the interludes. Barely had time to listen to Julz iPod at all. :-P

Wednesday night. House dinner. All the Donaldson boys together for one last time. The Year 11's gave us presents, which consisted of a shotglass and a condom (essentials for schoolies). Then after that we went to Warriner's, where everyone proceeded to get extremely drunk (parents included), and share stories from days gone by. T’was fun. :)

Thursday, school finished early. Date with Kiri :D. Went and "saw" The Grudge. I think it was good, but i can't be sure. ; ) Then, I still had some time to kill, so I walked her home, and met the parents. I must've made a good impression, her mum offered to drive me back to school. :-P

That night: valedictory dinner. Birch and Warriner spiked the juice at our table with plonk, which made the night a bit more memorable (or less memorable, depending on how much of it you drank). As we were all called up on stage, we got slightly restless, especially the first few houses like Donaldson and Casey. Someone started playing a piano backstage, and people were making fart noises (psuedo and otherwise), and as the last few houses came up, we started making various animal noises. Our immaturity knows no bounds.
Mum couldn't work my video camera, so all the footage is fucked up. So much for that idea. The "bridge" that we cross over was a bit of a disappointment. It was fucking tiny, and looked like it had been made in our Design Tech department the week before. So then we crossed over, into Manhood. To symbolise this, I removed my school tie and wrapped it around my head like a ninja. I’m not quite sure why now. : / But know this. Ninja's are cool.

Friday, last day of school. It was exciting, but sad. Some guys cried. And then it was over. Gone. That was my school life.
Probably the best memory from that day was coming out of the chapel service, and then running straight into the library opposite, where we proceeded to do “In The Land” warcry. Johnsee’s got a video of it here (Right click, save target as...).
A number of guys got booked driving out of Oaklands Parade for various stupid things such as not wearing seatbelts, speeding, honking the horn incessantly, stereo up too loud, etc. Sometimes multiple charges.
That night, I needed a place to crash, and was definitely not going to spend it in Nazi Camp. So I went with Doug to his grandma’s house and spent the night there. Then the next day, it was off to Schoolies!

To be continued...

Blog? What Blog? Ohhhhh, that blog...

2004-12-20T19:20:00.000+10:00

Okay, I realise I haven't blogged in ages. But look... if you had... one shot, to download everything you every wanted... in one fortnight... would you go for it? or just blog instead?
That was terrible. Even i'll admit that. Anyways, i will be doing a recap of what has happened to me since last time i blogged...last time i blogged... last...time...i blogggggged.... *cue suitable flashback sound effects*

Living in the moment...

2004-11-17T13:20:00.000+10:00

I am trying my hardest at the moment not to put song lyrics in my MSN name, but I’m finding it rather difficult... You may have noticed I slipped the other night with “Remember when we first met and everything was still a bet, in love’s game...” (Joseph Arthur – Honey and the Moon. Good song. Download it if you get the chance. :P)

But indeed, this is what a special girl can do to you. For those of you not up to date, the CAM night with Kiri was very successful (I think it was the flowers that did it :P), so we organised what would be the deciding date for the following Saturday. Lunch and movies in the city. Not the most original I must admit, but still a classic. I asked her out at the end, and long story short, we’re an item now.
We’ve got another date planned this Thursday. Oh god I’ve been out of this game for too long. I’m rusty.

However, with asking her out, came the realisation of the end of our relationship. See, she goes to France at the end of January, and, well, I’ve got to go back to my Chino eventually for Christmas. But we’ll cross those bridges when we come to them.
For now I’m living in the moment, and having the time of my life.

Luv ya Kiri ^_^

Kiri and Dom - CAM 2004

CAM 2004

2004-11-02T20:57:00.000+10:00

It's that time of year again folks; The 4th annual Churchie Awards in Media!

What can I say? Everthing seems to be on track for this Friday (and if not, Mr T hides it well). I just did another poster run this afternoon. They're bloody everywhere now.
The theme this year is 1950 Hollywood Sci-Fis, so don't be shocked at the dodginess of it all (we did it on pupose! sheesh!...altough it does help increase the profits by making the tickets out of plain cardboard with a CAM stamp on it...:P)

Tim Amos and Paul "Chunky" Unwin will be the hosts for the evening. Justin Kong and myself are heading up the intro video, and, I must say, it looks fantastic. The only problem we have at the moment is it's too long! 14 minutes long, and still not finished: Mr T wants it down to 8. Looks like we'll be cutting some scenes out :(. Oh well, hopefully there will be a Director's Cut on the CAM DVD.

My art film "Like Sands Through the Hourglass" has been nominated, but unfortunately our genre film wasn't up to scratch. I am taking the gorgeous Kiri Flutter as my partner, and hopefully this should be the best CAM yet! Seeya there on Friday!

CAM 2004 Trailer - 4MB (right click, save target as...)
The teaser trailer shown at assembly last week.

Drawn Together - TV's first animated reality show

2004-11-01T19:54:00.000+10:00

There's a new cartoon series that's about to come out, looks funny as hell. It's called Drawn Together, and the premise is they've taken 8 different animated characters from all over the cartoon universe, to live together in a house in front of a million cameras. Think Big Brother with cartoon characters, and a South Park sense of humour (crude but hilarious).

It has already started airing in America on Comedy Central, and I'm on the hunt for downloadable episodes. Not sure when it's being release in Australia (maybe it already has. Anyone with Comedy Central here?), but for now here's the 4 minute pilot episode to satisfy your curiousity. I waded through the html code to find the embedded movie file and link it to you directly. You can thank me later.

Drawn Together Pilot Episode - 15MB (right click, save target as..)

Drawn Together Official Website
www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/drawntogether/

I feel stupid, oh so stupid...

2004-09-30T23:45:00.001+10:00

Today I submitted my QTAC form with my 6 choices of what I want/hope to do with the rest of my life. Wow, I feel totally liberated. Along with applying for courses, as an out-of-towner I also had to think about applying for residency at various colleges. :/
So I decided to apply to Griffith first, as they were the only Uni that also offered on-campus accommodation. After a fruitless search of their site for some sort of application form to fill in, I found a page regarding applications:

If you are an Australian or New Zealand citizen, you must submit an application form to apply for a place in College. You can obtain an application form from the Admissions Officer by mail, telephone, fax or email at: ....blah blah blah. So I decided, being rather internet savvy, that I would email them:

Could you please send me an application form for applying for College Placement at Griffith University to this email address?
Thanks,
Dominic Grant

That afternoon, I get an email back from them:

Dominic

Please supply your mailing address so that an accommodation package can be posted.

Janette

DAMN IT! My postal address! That mistake has probably now sent me to the bottom of their waiting list. So much for getting into Griffith... After beating myself up for a little while, I sent them this reply back:

erm.... yes. sorry about that. i thought there would be a .pdf file u
could send or something....

...Eeeenyways......

my postal address is:
...
...
...
...

Thanks again
Dominic

I spent so long on that first letter making sure everything was correctly spelt and it was grammatically correct, and I still manage to screw it up. By the second email, I just didn't give a fuck. They already think I'm a dumbass, so I may as well be a funny one.

There is No Blog

2004-09-28T22:49:00.000+10:00

Check out this shirt I made in Photoshop. It's so pro. I'm going to sell it to Matrix geeks and make millions. (Or, a more likely scenario is I'll try and get one printed for myself, find out how much it costs and be like "well fuck that.")

Inspired by the awesomely geeky t-shirts at thinkgeek.com, and this coffee mug, I think I have created quite a humourous, if rather idiosyncratic t-shirt.
(And if you don't get it, you are either stupid, have no sense of humour, or haven't seen The Matrix, and are therefore unworthy of reading my blog. :P)

The best thing is, because there is no mention of the movie, I'm not breaking ANY copyright laws. Yay for me!

If only I had thought of this when Matrix: Reloaded was being released at the cinemas. Maybe when Matrix 3 comes out... No, they haven't made it yet. Yes, I'm still in denial.

PS How cool is my designer tag? I made that myself too. ^_^

© Copyright 2004 Dominic Grant. All rights reserved. (so don't go stealing it, bitches.)

No Box Is Too Small For KY Jelly

2004-09-27T21:50:00.000+10:00

Apparently, this ad is fake. But Johnson & Johnson should definitely hire the creator of it for their marketing team, as I think it gets the point across quite nicely.

This poster actually won two gold Lions at the prestigious Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival. Unfortunately, these awards were later withdrawn, after it was discovered that the advertising company that submitted this ad never actually worked for Johnson & Johnson. (A major criterium for submission is that the advertisment had to have actually ran/be signed off by the client).
Which is a pity, as the ad is bloody brilliant.

Johnson & Johnson's KY Jelly. For putting big things, in small boxes.

What a perverse double entendre. :-P

Blog it in! Blog it in, Baby!

2004-09-26T23:23:00.000+10:00

Ok, time for some blogspot updates.

Upon browsing some fellow Brisbanites’ blogs, I came across some awesome photos that the RAAF took of the Brisbane Riverfire dump and burn. I’ve put them with the Brisbane Riverfire Rocks! blog, so check ‘em out when you get the chance.

If you haven’t already noticed, I got me-self a Tag-Board/Message-Board thingy. This was because:
a) Aaron put one on his, and I couldn’t have his blogspot being better than mine now, could I? ;)
b) Nobody was commenting! I came to the conclusion that either everyone was too lazy to go an extra link deep; they DID want to comment but didn’t want to sign up to blogger.com; or they were just too stupid to figure it out.

So for all those lazy, nonconformist idiots, I have made things much simpler by placing this Tag-Board in the sidebar for you to post your comments on. Go ahead, leave a message. I won’t bite. Much.

Upon venturing into the sidebar, you may also have come across another new section entitled “Friends' Blogs”. Yes, believe it or not folks, I have friends. And some of these friends aren’t imaginary. And some of these unimaginary friends have blogs. So under this heading you’ll find the results of this query. I’m still deciding whether I should leave them in the neat little drop-down box, or just list them. Let me know what you think.

While we’re on the topic of friend’s blogs, I owe Klaire somewhat of an apology. She has begun posting on her blogspot again. In fact, it seems she hasn’t STOPPED posting since she got back from camp. 6 posts in 2 days isn’t healthy. Now whenever I try to talk to her on MSN, she is too busy to talk to me because she’s writing a new blog. :S
Maybe she is doing this out of spite of the comment I made earlier. Personally, I think she’s addicted. I wonder if there is a Bloggers Annoymous I can direct her towards... : /

That’s all for now. You’re up to date.

Diamonds Are For Never!

2004-09-25T22:54:00.000+10:00

And now, in a complete juxtapose to Friday's post, a satirical ad. While the humour may be a little tactless, the message is valid nonetheless.

What the fuck is with jewellery anyway? I know, I know. I’m a guy, I wouldn’t understand these things...
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for buying presents for that special someone, but wouldn’t a new car or a computer upgrade be so much cooler/more useful than a tiny little rock? A rock! It does nothing! Why the hell would you want a shitty little pebble over, say, a 40GB iPod?

The only conclusion I can come to is this:

A diamond is just a woman’s way of saying to her friends, "Look at what my boyfriend bought me! Aren’t you jealous? I’m such an attention whore."
She can show off the monetary status of her current partner, without ever having to say a word.

This can have severe repercussions. Her friends will now expect their boyfriends to do the same, and if these men also become submissive to their partner’s constant nagging, a ripple effect is created.
Seriously, the only people jewellers make money off are men, because they’re the ones that buy the fucken things.

Men, we must hold our positions. Unite against the common evil! Boycott the buying of bling-bling for your missus.

More Diamond Ads
"Put These On A String..."
"Because You Felt..."
"Lucy In The Sky..."
"With This She Might..."
"The Beatles Lied..."
"I Swear To God..."

The Matrix blogs you...

2004-09-25T01:25:00.000+10:00

What can I say? I was bored. Photoshop was there. It was shouting, "Use me! Use me like a cheap, $2 crack-whore," and I was like "uh...ok."

A Quiz: Who Loves More, Men or Women?

2004-09-24T08:14:00.000+10:00

An extract from an article by Liel Lowndes

Men suffer a bad rap for being less romantic than women. Naturally, if you do a survey of men or women at the mall asking "Who's more romantic?" the majority will say women. At first glance, the evidence is pretty overwhelming that women are the romantics. Indeed, they are when it comes to saying "I love you," remembering Valentine's Day, and knowing "it's the little things that count" (like an engagement ring). But when it comes to the truly deep and important definition of romance, men are the big winners.

At some point in your life, gentlemen, the woman of your dreams will probably say accusingly (in response to one of your everyday "insensitive" remarks) that "you men are all alike! You're so unromantic!" My gift to you is the following. Someday it will come in handy, in self-defense. I've packaged it neatly in the form of a quiz that you can give her when she calls you unromantic.

Who really is capable of loving more, men or women?

_________________________________________________________

QUESTIONS
Who falls in love faster?
Who is more idealistic about love?
Who usually initiates the breakup?
Who suffers more from a breakup?
Who loves their lovers more?

MEN
__
__
__
__
__

WOMEN
__
__
__
__
__

_________________________________________________________

Who Falls In Love Faster? Men!
In one study, seven hundred young lovers were asked, "How early did you realize you were in love?" Men fell in love faster. Before the fourth date, 20 percent of men had taken the tumble, whereas only 15 percent of the women realized Cupid had stung them; 43 percent of the women still didn't know they were in love by the twentieth date, compared to only 30 percent of the men.
Women are more cautious about getting involved.

Who Is More Idealistic About Love? Men!
Another study determined that men had a far more idealistic and less practical view of love. Men were not nearly as concerned with a woman's social position or how much money she made.
More men felt that as long as two people truly love each other, they should have no trouble getting along in marriage.

Who Usually Initiates the Breakup? Women!
A group of Harvard scientists vigilantly followed the affairs of 231 Boston couples. Of those who split up, usually it was the woman who suggested the separation. The men wanted to stick it out to the bitter end.

Who Suffers More From a Breakup? Men!
The men felt lonelier, more depressed, unloved, and least free after a split. The men reported that they found it extremely hard to accept that they were no longer loved and that she had really gone. What disturbed them most was that they felt there was nothing they could do about it. They were plagued with the hope that if only they had said the right thing . . . done the right thing. . . .
In fact, three times as many men commit suicide after a disastrous love affair as women do.

Who Loves Their Lovers More? Men!
Men love their lovers more in relation to others in their life. Several researchers at Yale University polled male and female participants from age 18 to 70 and asked, "Who do you like, and who do you love, most in your life?" The choices were lover (or spouse), best friend, parents, and siblings.
Men, it turned out, loved and liked their lovers more than their best friends, whereas, with women, the rankings were about equal. Many women liked their best friends more than they liked their lovers!

Gentlemen, the next time your lover complains, "You men are so unromantic," just show her these statistics and say, "Yeah, who says? Huh, huh, huh?" (On second thought, just say, "You know, dear, you have a good point. I'm sorry. I'll try to be more romantic. I love you.")

Idiotic Optus

2004-09-21T21:57:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I was trying to download Windows XP Service Pack 2 on my 56k connection... What a joke. 266MB...3kb/s... You do the maths.
I jokingly said to a few of my good messenger buddies, "We’ll have broadband out here before this download finishes!"

Flash forward to: Present Day
This morning we get a call from Optus. I’m still in bed, unaware of this. Mum takes the call for a while, and then as soon as he starts to confuse her (I think he used the word "bandwidth"), she comes in and wakes me up.
"There’s some guy from Optus who wants to talk to you about switching to broadband."

It was the fastest I’d gotten out of bed all holidays. Before taking the call, I exclaimed out loud, "Hot, naked women will be in my room before this download finishes!" Nothing happened, but it was worth a try.

After speaking to Jeff (I think his name was) for a while, asking him about download limits, cost per month, what happens if we go over and installation fees (free installation till October 5), I told him to call us back this afternoon, once I’d had a chat to the ones that’ll be paying for this: namely, Mum and Dad.

He rings back later that afternoon, but I was using the internet, so it diverted to Dad’s mobile. Here’s a rough transcript of the conversation that ensued:

JEFF: Ah hi this is Jeff from Optus. I was talking to your wife and son earlier today about possibly switching your current 56k internet plan to Optus broadband connection? Had you come to a decision on this?
DAD: Are you sure we can get this where we are?
JEFF: Yes.
DAD: Are you sure-sure?
JEFF: Ah... let me just go check...
DAD: Ok, you do that.
JEFF: ...hmm......... it, ah..... Doesn’t seem to be working.....
DAD: Mmhm.
JEFF: ...Ah...I’m terribly sorry about this..... It turns out you can’t get broadband where you are...
DAD: I thought as much. Thanks for calling. *click*

FUCKING....IDIOTS!

Mainly I’m pissed that they got my hopes up, but wouldn’t you think to CHECK these sort of things before you rang up a prospective customer? Jesus Jeff! I could’ve slept in, if it wasn’t for you!
Also, I’m annoyed that Dad outsmarted me on this one. I asked practically every question EXCEPT that one. The bastard is very pleased with himself at the moment. You’ll keep Dad, you’ll keep.

Ok, slowly floating back down to my 56k reality. Now that I think about it... I wish we had played along, and accepted their free installation offer. They would’ve had to exchange the old phone lines from wherever you CAN get broadband, all the way out to our place in the middle of Whoop-Whoop. MILLIONS of the companies’ dollars spent, just so one isolated geek can download faster. That’d teach those dickheads. >:)

An english assignment I never handed in

2004-09-21T00:42:00.000+10:00

I was doing a spring clean of my hard drive today; going through various folders with name such as "SORT THIS", "SORT THIS NOW" and "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS", that had accumulated on my desktop throughout last term.

One of the files I came across was an English assignment from end of term 2. For this assignment, we were given the task of writing a speech for a literary radio program, comparing the poem of a Brisbane author to a poem of the canon (A group of literary works that are generally accepted as representitive of that field).

I was feeling pretty lazy that night, so I asked my friend JJ if he could write one for me. Suprisingly he agreed, and I was immediately suspicious. And with good reason - here is what he wrote:

Good morning. I’m fat and stupid and you’re listening to me. Today I will be comparing two poems which I haven’t even read yet. One is a poem and the other is also a poem.
In conclusion they are both poems.
But because I have to talk for four to five minutes, I’m gonna make up some stuff. The contemporary thing is good for one poem but not the other. Don’t ask me which one. The audience is also good, which means they are bad, I think. Anyway, have I done five minutes yet? No? Oh well. Ummm well, heres a poem I wrote myself:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
The sight of you
Makes me spew.

Like it? Cause I don’t. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Brisbane poets such as myself cannot write good poetry, especially anything that is worth comparison against that of the canon. Thankyou.

Needless to say, I decided to do the assignment on my own, and never ask for his help again.

Why Churchie Is Going to Get Shit OPs

2004-09-19T01:38:00.000+10:00

by Dominic Grant
starring Justin Kong

It was the first morning of the QCS Test. A dark cloud loomed over the Cambell Centre, an ominous sign of things to come. The Year 12's waited outside in the cold, chattering anxiously. Slowly, they started to form into alphabetical order, with the Allen's up the front, and the Zahnleiter's at the back.
I am standing there between Gowland and Grummit, thinking quietly to myself "don't fuck up, don't fuck up..." when Justin spots me and decides to break my Zen-like concentration.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be back there?" Justin says in all earnest, pointing behind him towards the back of the line. I stared at him for a few seconds, before simply replying:

"Justin, we are about to sit for what is probably the most important test of our schooling life, and yet you still do not know the alphabet?
You are supposed to be behind me. 'G' come before 'K' Justin, and may God have mercy on us all."

Uh oh...I said the C-word....;)

/me does a little dance, for me is on holidays!

2004-09-19T01:08:00.000+10:00

w00tw00tw0000 w00tw000!

THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE! FINALLY! I am sincerely sorry to my avid readers (pfft, yeah right :P) of this blog, but I was extremely busy those last weeks of term, and found no time to post between QCS, exams and assignments.
I am sure many of you would have almost given up hope that I would ever post a witty remark, a cool link, or another boring story from my life ever again.
But, do not fret, for I am still alive, and do not give up that easily (like some people.....klaire....). I have survived that gruelling term 3, and am making a full recovery, that started with a sleep-in till 1 o'clock yesterday.

2 weeks in Chino is going to be very boring, so i'm going to have to blog to keep myself from going insane.

Pentagon Strike

2004-09-05T10:43:00.000+10:00

Hey, long time no...err... type.

Haven't got much time left here in the library, but I wanted to share this flash video with y'all before johnsee found it and claimed it first. :P

As everyone knows, on 11 September, less than an hour after the attack on the World Trade Centre, a Boeing 757, Flight 77, collided with the Pentagon.

Or did it? What if wasn't Flight 77 that crashed into the Pentagon? What if it wasn't a aeroplane at all?
But if it wasn't an aeroplane, then what was it?
Watch the video, and decide for yourself.

PENTAGON STRIKE (2.98MB)
(Right Click, Save Target As...)

This brought chills up my spine when I first watched it. It really makes you think about how the media can manipulate how we perceive things.

(If you do not know how to run it: when you have finished downloading it, drag the file into Internet Explorer. If it still doesn't work, it probably means you don't have Macromedia Flash Player installed. You can download that HERE)

Brisbane Riverfire rocks!

2004-08-30T20:36:00.000+10:00

Brisbane Riverfire was on Saturday night. Where was I? I was on top of my boarding house roof (3 stories high), with about 20 other guys watching it of course! Pillow for my bum, jacket to keep me warm, radio for the countdowns and a cold beer in my hand. (okay, that last bit was a lie.)
It was so awesome.
We could see the whole thing from where we were, with all the fireworks along the river going off in unison all the way up to Story Bridge.
Only bad thing was the sound was out of sync. Sitting so far away from the action definitely had an effect on what we were seeing as opposed to what we were hearing.

And the jets! Omfg they were so cool! Pchwwwww!!!! They flew right over the Brisbane CBD, where they then proceeded to dump and burn, lighting up the entire city. Check out Johnsee’s video of it here (right click, save target as) It's about 1.2MB

When the show was over, I climbed down from the roof thinking I had the best seat in the house. I go over to my brother to tell him how awesome it was, and how he’s stupid for not coming up as well.
He’s like, "Yeah? Well you know where the jets turned around at Story Bridge? I was at a party on the 21st floor of the apartment closest to it. I could almost reach out and touch the Jets. And when they flew past, the entire building shook. THAT was awesome."
Whaddabastard.

Can’t wait for next year’s spectacular waste of taxpayer’s money. Hopefully this time I will have a beer in my hand, or some other alcoholic based beverage. :D Unfortunately, this time next year, I will also be one of those taxpaying people. :(

RAAF Photos of the Dump and Burn

Goodbye geocities, hellooo sandstorming!

2004-08-29T14:22:00.000+10:00

Hmmm, that's three posts relating to The OC in a row.... Time for something different, in case people start thinking I’m obsessed or something...

I just scored free web hosting off my ever altruistic mate Johnsee. Wicked sweet! Goodbye geocities, hellooo sandstorming! I’ve had it before, but never really used it because it was too hard for me to upload files to it at school. And when he changed servers a few weeks ago, I didn’t bother getting it back.

But since I started my blog, I’ve been looking for somewhere to host my photos and other files I want to share. I eventually ended up using Yahoo GeoCities for a while… *shudder*

But now rejoice! Johnsee has given me my old hosting back, with a HTML uploader! (In non-geek terms, that means I can upload files through any normal web browser, which is very good for me, being a prisoner of this bastardised school.)

You can check Johnsee’s site here: www.sandstorming.com
And his blogspot here: www.sandstorming.blogspot.com

"The OC" sounds like "D-O-C"

2004-08-29T13:42:00.000+10:00

I was sitting here thinking... If you say "The OC", it sounds a lot like "D-O-C". Also, I realised a "D" is really only a backwards "C" with a line down the side.
So with these two facts in mind, I opened up the almighty Adobe Photoshop (CS, i might add), and proceeded to edit an OC wallpaper i downloaded (marissa_1024.jpg), to better suit my needs/name.
Combining my love of the show "The OC", my screen name being "The Docta", and the want for a personalised blogger template, i created a new design template for www.thedocta.blogspot.com.

(Click it for larger image)

I am pleased with how it turned out (even though it does have pink in it, it is countered by the black and the cool sunset background :P)
Now all i've got to do is learn XML and CSS. :S
Don't hold your breathe guys. It’ll probably be a while before you see this in action.

On another note,
What does the "CS" in Photoshop CS stand for anyway?
And is "Adobe" pronounced "a-doh-b" OR "a-doh-bee"?
It's one of life's great mysteries. I dunno, but it keeps me up at night.

Music From The OC Mix 1

2004-08-27T16:10:00.000+10:00

Here is the CD i have been dreaming about.... Music From The OC Mix 1. If anyone can *ahem* get these songs for me, i will...uh...be your friend? :P

I've also listed under each song the episode it appears in, and the time code at which it appears (according to my Eps). They are all awesome songs, and I want all of them.

Music From The OC Mix 1
1. South - Paint The Silence
(EP: 09 – The Heights, TC: 41:39)
2. Jem – Just A Ride
(EP: 14 – The Countdown, TC: 25:42)
3. Joseph Arthur - Honey And The Moon
(EP: 01 – Premiere, TC: 41:30)
4. Spoon - The Way We Get By
(EP: 05 – The Outsider, TC: 00:29)
5. Jet - Move On
(EP: 12 – The Secret, TC: 41:30)
6. The 88 - How Good It Can Be
(EP: 09 –The Heights, TC: 3:57)
7. Doves - Caught By The River
(EP: 02 – The Model Home, TC: 20:50)
8. Turin Brakes - Rain City
(EP: 03 – The Gamble, TC: 40:50)
9. The Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends
(EP: 12 – The Secret, TC: 00:13)
10. Finley Quaye Featuring William Orbit - Dice
(EP: 14 – The Countdown, TC: 39:20)
11. Alexi Murdoch - Orange Sky
(EP: 11 – The Homecoming, TC: 38:21)
12. Phantom Planet - California (Theme Song)
(EP: 01 – Premiere, TC: 5:15)

C'mon, help a poor boarder out. Donate a song today! Otherwise, I’m going to have to spend money buying the CD, and like, go without clothes for a term.

In other related news, Music From The OC Mix 2 will be out October 26. It features more songs from the second half of the first season, including one that has been stuck in my head for ages: "If You Leave" by Nada Surf.
Can’t wait! :D

Check out the official site, www.musicfromtheoc.com for a preview of "If You Leave" plus other info.

I luv blogging || Finished The OC

2004-08-24T19:30:00.000+10:00

This blogging is really therapeutic. It’s like talking to someone on MSN, but not having to listen what they have to say. It’s like talking to yourself, without being called crazy or people giving you a funny look. It’s like, posting on a forum, without everyone telling you that you’re spamming and that you should stop creating irrelevant threads about nothing in particular… In fact, it’s just what The Docta ordered!

Finished watching the first season of The OC on the weekend. All 27 episodes, 43 minutes each: 19.5 hours of my life well spent. Yer, the show is dripping with clichés, but I love it.
I consider my life to be similar to The OC…. With Brisbane being Newport, and Gayndah being Chino. Now I’m just waiting for a wealthy family to adopt me (hint hint, :P).

The official site is awesome, www.fox.com/oc. 500 word summary of each episode, wallpapers, best quotes from each episode. It even has a list of all the songs that play during each episode.
Which reminds me, I want, WANT “Music From The OC Mix 1” Soundtrack. The music on the show is so awesome; I’m even considering purchasing the CD myself. I know, I said the “P” word (and not the one followed by “irate”), but I can justify this mainly because the artists are all independent or non-heard of, and so 1) I want to support these great indie bands, and 2) I can’t find them on the internet. :P

So, hopefully the album will satisfy my cravings until the second season returns. (Airing 4th November in the US).
In fact, all the good shows are just about to come back… New South Park, October….New OC, November….New Family Guy (brought back from the graveyard of cancelled TV shows), 2005! Oh my god I’m drooling all over my keyboard, better wipe that off……qartfvgbyuhnjiko.
That’s better :P

And yes, I’m trying to blog as often as I can, but I’m finding it pretty difficult, especially since I can’t edit any blogs or drafts I’ve saved >: (
There are just some things a proxy server can’t do. FUCK YOU SCHOOL INTERNET!
..|.. ..|..

Fuckin' Ace

2004-08-19T19:58:00.000+10:00

Yer... Check it out, my very own blog page. Fuckin' ace. I'm sure this is typical of a first blog post, but to you I say....STFU.
Thanks to my mate Johnsee for convincing me that i too, need to tell the whole world about me and my utterly boring life. Also i must thank him for helping me get past this fucked-up school's list of blocked websites....which includes www.blogger.com. Shock. Horror. (bastards. they ruin all my fun. PRAISE THE LORD FOR PROXY SERVERS! I'm sure they were all part of His master plan.)

But hey, I'll try - I'll really try, honest - not to mention this nazi camp's name. Because that would be slander. Or defamation. Or something bad that I'll get sued over. I'm sure if you're reading this, you know which school i'm talking about.

Anyways, if you're still reading this because you think I'm really fucked in the head and want to know where I buy my pot from, I'm sorry to dissapoint, but I don't puff the magic dragon, if you know what i mean.

Time to go. Later.